Remind your customers and friends that it really is an ideal time for a glass of wine... right now! Here's the professional perspective on the benefit of living in the moment: "Psychological research shows us that not only do people tend to overestimate the benefits of planning for the future, but that people who take decisions that make them happy in the moment tend to experience less regret over time. This reminds us that a fulfilling moment can last a lifetime." Read more from our psychologist guest-blogger...
This Magic Moment...
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. But today is a gift, and that's why it is called the present.
Too often in our lives we miss out on magical moments. Whether it is because of the morning rush, the midday crunch, or burning the midnight oil, we often don't take time to stop and smell the roses. Many times this is because we perceive our lives to be too busy, but other times we choose to distract ourselves with something unnecessary whenever we have a free moment. We have been so conditioned this way that we often miss out on opportunities to enjoy moments that are presented to us.
Our lifestyle in this age of immediacy does not lend itself well to enjoying the moment. Instead of enjoying a moment alone we reach for the immediacy of a text or an email that probably could wait. Furthermore, because of our cultural values around saving and planning, we are often thinking of or worrying about the future before it has arrived. By doing so, we take ourselves out of a moment that could be potentially fulfilling.
This phenomenon has been termed "Hyperopia", a tendency to look too far into the future at the cost of enjoying the moment we're in. Look out for this occurrence in your own life. Research on this phenomenon shows us that not only do people tend to overestimate the benefits of planning for the future, but that people who take decisions that make them happy in the moment tend to experience less regret over time. This reminds us that a fulfilling moment can last a lifetime.
The other reason we tend to miss out on the moment is that we mentally time travel to escape a moment. Many of us carry around pain and discomfort from our past. Sometimes moments we experience trigger those feelings or remind us of our past and we travel back there without really wanting to. Or we go into the future, thinking of how our lives will improve "if only" a certain thing were to happen. Or we travel to a place we are not, seeking an escape from the place we currently are.
Learning to enjoy a good moment is hard for many reasons.
Learning to enjoy a good moment is hard for many reasons.
- First, we worry that good moments are fleeting and it hurts when they end. As a result we sometimes do not immerse ourselves fully in them, not wanting to experience the withdrawal from them.
- Second, we judge moments, and categorize them in our minds and doing so affects our ability to enjoy the moment because it now has a label attached to it.
- Third, we distort time, thinking that moments of discomfort last longer that moments of comfort. Moments are just moments, for better or for worse. All moments pass if you let them.
No matter what is happening in the moment, be it blissful or stressful, you can take comfort in knowing that in a moment you will have a whole new opportunity to make the most of another moment.
If you would like to fill your life with more magic moments you don't need to do anything extra. These moments are all around you, you just have to slow down and notice them.
Thanks for taking a moment to read this.
Guest Blogger:
Matt Keck
Adapt Psychotherapy
Offices in San Francisco and San Mateo, California
Offices in San Francisco and San Mateo, California
(650) 455-9242
Specializing in the treatment of:
Eating Disorders
Adolescents
Athletes
(Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist: #46314 California)
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